An Update

It's been quite some time, what, five months? Not that I have nothing to tell, sure I have lots of those. I just found that it's difficult to manage time between 400 parents, 25 teachers and staffs, around 20 people on the board, and of course 200 students! With all the demands, complaints, accusations, slanders and schemes (yes, true story and I am not exaggerating this time), the talking behinds, but of course also includes the kids smiles, funny expressions and acts, cries and tantrums - which were very good mediums to grow and learn. (And actually, blame it all on social media! Yes, blame it on FB and Twitter, that now it is easier to blabber on those stuffs :D)

Well, I love this job. Sort of. Surely, I love the students! They make my everyday. I am still trying to maintain and manage a good relationship with the teachers, parents, and boss(es). And the last thing is the hardest part of all. But then I see myself in the past few years. I was really good at running from problems and things I don't like. And if once in the past I considered myself as a fighter, well, I went soft.

Here, a few times I thought I was going to stop trying, stop struggling and surviving. But I love the kids too much to let go. So I decided to keep walking on the line and close my eyes and ears as much as possible, while using my heart as a guidance, to get to the place I dream of. I just pray and hope that Allah give me enough strength, patience, and the biggest heart Allah can ever give to someone :)

In the meantime, I rewarded myself with a few things I really enjoyed. And distracted myself with relaxing activities one hour or two (or one day or two :D) during the busyness. Last week, on my birthday, I went to Bandung, the city I am always in love with. Met some good friends, had a very nice and inspiring talks or even just loads of crap - but still, to me it was very refreshing, since at school I don't have anyone to 'really' talk to. Culinary trip, fulfilled my curiosity on some places that are very hip in Bandung right now and tasted some hip foods that are also now spread all over the cake shops in the cities (just like the ababils do) :D La Diva, of course - never found any place like this in Jakarta - good service with highly affordable price.

TV series downloading, or to be precise, stealing the downloaded TV series from a very best friend :) Spent some quality time at home with family, good laugh with mom, brothers, sisters, uncle, and cousins.

Ah.. Life is good. With all the ups and downs. Good people or bad people in it, both make you grow stronger, wiser, better. Hopefully Allah will always shower us with lots of love and blessings, in any way that is best for us. Aamiin. Well, the laptop battery is low already and I am too lazy to charge it. Plus it's already 1 a.m., I have to go sleep and prepare for tomorrow. It's a very busy week at work, this Saturday is graduation day for Kinder B students. So I guess that's it for now, this is even longer than I thought I was going to write :D

One more thing before I go offline, I am now on the process of something very important to my future. Pray for me and wish me good luck :)

Pray As Much As I Do

Has always been my dream,
to wake you up in the wee small hours of the morning,
and then we pray together for the eternal happiness,
and for the meaningful togetherness.

Has always been in my prayers,
to prepare your suit and your tie,
to turn on the water heater and put your towel in the bathroom,
and then go to the kitchen to prepare your breakfast.

Has always been on my wish list,
to brush your hair with my fingers,
kiss you on the forehead,
and on the back of your hand,
tell you, "Have a nice day at work, Honey. And come home soon."

Has always been my desire,
to take care of you when you're sick, or even when you're just feeling bad,
to take care, to protect, to love, to raise, and to educate the children of ours,
to watch every single step of their lives on the becoming of the best generation.

Has always been a very beautiful longing,
to wait you come home from work, while cooking your favorite foods,
and see our children running here and there, with smile on their happy face.

Until you finally come home, and we welcome you with the warmest hugs and kisses.
And you carry our children on your shoulders, while they telling you stories from school.
We take wudhu and do maghrib prayer together,
we read Qur'an and you give us some spiritual advices.
Then we sit together on the couch, hot tea, fried bananas or pancake, small talk, and jokes. We help our children doing their homework and take them to bed, tell them some good stories and kiss them good night.
And then finally we have our own space and time, to share what we've been through, and maybe a little talk about the future, or maybe just sit in silence, or even maybe we're gonna arguing things, but then we do understand each other. We spend our quality time together.

Yes, it has always been a very beautiful longing. And Insha Allah, I believe, Allah has already prepared the very best match. And you, I am very sure that wherever you are, you also pray as much as I do :)

Hero Within Your Self

Theres a hero

If you look inside your heart

You dont have to be afraid of what you are

Theres an answer,

If you reach into your soul

And the sorrow that you know, will melt away

And then a hero comes along,

With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears aside

And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone,

Look inside you and be strong

And you'll finally see the truth,

That a hero lies in you

It's a long road

When you face the world alone

No one reaches out a hand, for you to hold

You can find love

If you search within yourself

And the emptiness you felt, will disappear

Lord knows, dreams are hard to follow

But don't let anyone tear them away, hey yeah

Hold on..

There will be tomorrow

In time, you'll find the way

And then a hero comes along,

With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears aside

And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone,

Look inside you and be strong

And you'll finally see the truth,

That a hero lies in you

Love is Fallacy (by Max Shulman)

Cool was I and logical. My brain was as powerful as a dynamo, as precise as a chemist's scales, as penetrating as a scalpel. And - think of it! - I was only eighteen.

It is not often that one young has such a giant intellect. Take, for example, Petey Burch, my roommate at the University of Minnesota. Same age, same background, but dump as an ox. A nice enough fellow, you understand, but nothing upstairs.

One afternoon I found Peter lying on his bed with an expression of such distress on his face that I immediately diagnosed appendicitis.

"Don't move," I said. "Don't take a laxative. I'll get a doctor."

"Raccoon," he mumbled thickly.

"Raccoon?" I said, pausing in my flight.

"I want a raccoon coat," he wailed.

I perceives that his trouble was not physical, but mental.

"Why do you want a raccoon coat?"

"All the Big Men on Campus are wearing them. Where've you been?"

"In the library," I said, naming a place not frequented by Big Men on Campus.

He leaped from the bed and paced the room, "I've got to have a raccoon coat," he said passionately. "I've got to!"

"Peter, why? Look at it rationally. Raccoon coats are unsanitary. They shed. They smell bad. They weigh too much. They're unsightly. They..."

"You don't understand," he interrupted impatiently. "It's the thing to do.. I'd give anything for a raccoon coat. Anything!"

My brain, that precision instrument, slipped into high gear. "Anything?" I asked, looking a him narrowly.

"Anything," he affirm in ringing tones.

I stroked my chin thoughtfully. It so happened that I knew where to get my hands on a coat. My father had had on one in his undergraduate days, it lay now in a trunk in the attic back home. It also happened that Petey had something I wanted. He didn't have it exactly, but at least he had first rights on it. I refer to his girl, Polly Espy. I was a freshman in law school. In a few years I would be out in practice. I was well aware of the importance of the right kind of wife n furthering a lawyer's career. The successful lawyers I had observed were, almost without exception, married to beautiful, gracious, intelligent women. With one omission, Polly fitted these specifications perfectly. Beautiful she was. Gracious she was. Intelligent she was not. In fact, she veered in the opposite direction. But I believed that under my guidance she would smarten up. At any rate, it was worth a try. It is, after all, easier to make a beautiful dumb girl smart than to make an ugly girl beautiful.

"Petey," I said, "are you in love with Polly Espy?"

"I think she's a keen kid," he replied, "but I don't know if you'd call it love. Why?"

"Do you.." I asked, "have any kind of formal arrangement with her? I mean are you going steady or anything like that?"

"No. We see each other quite a bit, but we both have other dates. Why?"

"Is there.." I asked, "any other man for whom she has a particular fondness?"

"Not that I know of. Why?"

I nodded with satisfaction. "In other words, if you were out of the picture, the field would be open. Is that right?"

"I guess so. What are you getting at?"

"Nothing, nothing," I said innocently, and took my suitcase out of the closet.

"Where are you going?" asked Petey.

"Home for the weekend." I threw a few things into the bag.

"Look," I said to Petey when I got back Monday morning. I threw open the suitcase and revealed the huge, hairy, gamy object that my father had worn in his Stutz Bearcat in 1925.

"Holy Toledo!" said Petey reverently. He plunged his hands into the raccoon coat and then his face.

"Holy Toledo!" he repeated fifteen or twenty times.

"Would you like it?" I asked.

"Oh, yes!" he cried, clutching the greasy pelt to him. Then a canny look came into his eyes. "What so you want for it?"

"Your girl" I said, mincing no words.

He flung the coat from him. "Never," he said stoutly.

I sat down in a chair and pretended to read a book, but out of the corner of my eye I kept watching Petey. He was a torn man. First he looked at the coat with the expression of a waif at a bakery window. Then he turned away and set his jaw resolutely. Then he looked back at the coat, with even more longing in his face. Then he turned away, but with so much resolution this time. Back and forth his head swiveled, desire waxing, resolution waning. Finally he didn't turn away at all, he just stood and stared with mad lust at the coat.

"It isn't as though I was in love with Polly," he said thickly, "Or going steady or anything like that.."

"Try on the coat," said I.

He complied. The coat bunched high over his ears and dropped all the way down to his shoe tops. He looked like a mound of dead raccoons.

"Fits fine," he said happily.

I rose from my chair. "It is a deal?" I asked, extending my hand.

He swallowed.

"It's a deal," he said and shook my hand.

I had my first date with Polly the following evening. This was in the nature of a survey. I wanted to find out just how much work I had to do to get her mind up to the standard I required. I went back to my room with a heavy heart. I had gravely underestimated the size of my task. This girl's lack of information was terrifying. Nor would it be enough merely to supply her with information. First she had to be taught to think. This loomed as a project of no small dimensions, and at first I was tempted to give her back to Petey. But then I got to thinking about her abundant physical charms and about the way she entered a room and the way she handled a knife and fork, and I decided to make an effort. I went about it, as in all things, systematically. I gave her a course in logic.

"Polly," I said to her when I picked her up on our next date, "tonight we are going over to the Knoll and talk."

We went to the Knoll, the campus trysting place, and we sat down under on old oak, and she looked at me expectantly.

"What are we going to talk about?" she asked.

"Logic."

She thought this over for a minute and decided she liked it.

"Magnif," she said.

"Logic," I said, clearing my throat, "is the science of thinking. Before we can think correctly, we must first learn to recognize the common fallacies of logic. These we take up tonight."

"Wow-dow!" she cried, clapping her hands delightedly.

I winced, but went bravely on.

"First let us examine the fallacy called Dicto Simpliciter."

"By all means," she urged, batting her lashed eagerly.

"Dicto Sympliciter means an argument based on as unqualified generalization. For example: Exercise is good. Therefore everybody should exercise."

"I agree," Polly said earnestly, "I mean exercise is wonderful. I mean it builds the body and everything."

"Polly," I said gently, "the argument is a fallacy. EXERCISE IS GOOD is an unqualified generalization. For instance, if you have heart disease, exercise is bad, not good. Many people are ordered by their doctors NOT to exercise. You must QUALIFY the generalization. You must say exercise is USUALLY good FOR MOST PEOPLE. Otherwise you have committed a Dicto Simpliciter. Do you see?"

"No," she confessed. "But this is marvy. Do more! Do more!"

"Next we take up a fallacy called Hasty Generalization. Listen carefully: You can speak French, I can't speak French, Petey Burch can't speak French. I must therefore conclude that nobody at the University of Minnesota can speak French."

"Really?" said Polly, amazed. "NOBODY?"

I hid my exasperation. "Polly, it's a fallacy. The generalization is reached too hastily. There are too few instances to support such a conclusion."

"Know any more fallacies?" she asked breathlessly. "This is more fun than dancing even."

I fought off a ware of despair. I was getting nowhere with this girl, absolutely nowhere.

"Next comes Post Hoc. Listen to this: Let's not take Bill our picnic. Every time we take him out with us, it rains."

"I know somebody like that," she exclaimed.

"A girl back home - Eula Becker, her name is. It never fails. Every single time we take her on a picnic.."

"Polly." I said sharply, "it's a fallacy. Eula Becker doesn't CAUSE the rain. She has no connection with the rain. You are guilty of Post Hoc if you blame Eula Becker."

"I'll never do that again," she promised contritely. "Are you mad at me?"

I sighed deeply. "No. Polly. I'm not mad."

"Then tell me some more fallacies."

I consulted my watch. "I think we'd better call it a night. I'll take you home now and you go over all the things you've learned. We'll have another session tomorrow night." I deposited her at the girl's dormitory, where she assured me that she had had a perfectly teriff evening, and I went glumly to my room. Petey lay snoring in his bed, the raccoon coat huddled like a great hair beast at his feet. For a moment I considered waking him and telling him that he could have his girl back. It seemed clear that my project was doomed to failure. The girl simply had a logic-proof head. But then I reconsidered. I had wasted one evening, I might as well waste another. Who knew? Maybe somewhere in the extinct crater of her mind, a few embers still smoldered. I decided to give it one more try.

Seated under the oak the next evening I said, "Our first fallacy tonight is called Ad Misericordiam."

She quivered with delight.

"Listen closely," I said. "A man applies for a job. When the boss asks him what his qualifications are, he replies that he has a wife and six children at home, the wife is a helpless cripple, the children have nothing to eat, no clothes to wear, no shoes on their feet, there are no beds in the house, no coal in the cellar, and winter is coming."

A tear rolled down each of Polly's pink cheeks. "Oh, this is awful, awful," she sobbed.

"Yes, awful," I agreed, "but it's no argument. The man never answered the boss's questions about his qualifications. Instead of, he appealed to the boss's sympathy. He committed the fallacy of Ad Misericordiam. Do you understand?" I handed her a handkerchief and tried to keep from screaming while she wiped her eyes.

"Next," I said in a carefully controlled tone, "we will discuss False Analogy. Here is an example: students should be allowed to look at their textbooks during examinations. After all, surgeons have X-rays to guide them during an operation, lawyers have briefs to guide the during a trial, carpenters have blueprints to guide them when they are building a house. Why then, shouldn't students be allowed to look at their textbooks during an examination?"

"There now," she said enthusiastically, "is the most marvy idea I've heard in years."

"Polly," I said testily, "the argument is all wrong. Doctors, lawyers, and carpenters aren't taking a test to see how much they have learned, but students are. The situations are entirely different, and you can't make an analogy between them."

"I still think it's a good idea," said Polly.

"Nuts." I muttered. Doggedly I pressed on. "Next we'll try Hypothesis Contrary to Fact."

"Sounds yummy," was Polly's reaction.

"Listen: If Madame Curie had not happened to leave a photographic plate in a drawer with a chunk of pitchblende, the world today would not know about radium."

"True, true," said Polly, nodding her head, "Did you see the movie? Oh, it just knocked me out."

"I would like to point out that the statement is a fallacy. Maybe Madame Curie would have discovered radium at some later dates. Maybe somebody else would have discovered it. Maybe any number of things would have happened. You can't start with a hypothesis that is not true and then draw any supportable conclusions from it." One more chance, I decided. But just one more. There is a limit to what flesh and blood can bear. "The next fallacy is called Poisoning the Well."

"How cute!" she gurgled.

"Two men are having a debate. The first one gets up and says, 'My opponent is a notorious liar. You can't believe a word that he is going to say.' Now, Polly, think. Think hard. What's wrong?" I watched her closely as she knit her creamy brow in concentration. Suddenly, a glimmer of intelligence - the first I had seen - came into her eyes.

"It's not fair," she said with indignant. "It's no a bit fair. What chance has the second man got if the first man calls him a liar before he even begins talking?"

"Right!" I cried exultantly. "One hundred percent right. It's not fair. The first man has POISONED THE WELL before anybody could drink from it.. Polly, I'm proud of you."

"Aww," she murmured, blushing with pleasure.

"You see, my dear, these things aren't so hard. All you have to do is concentrate. Think - examine - evaluate. Come now, let's review everything we have learned."

"Fire away," she said with an airy wave of her hand.

Heartened by the knowledge that Polly was not altogether a cretin, I began a long, patient review of all I had told her. Over and over and over again I cited instances, pointed out flaws, kept hammering away without let-up. It was like digging a tunnel. At first everything was work, sweat, and darkness. I had no idea when I would reach the light, or even IF I would. But I persisted. I pounded and clawed and scrapped, and finally I was rewarded. I saw a chink of light. And then the chink got bigger and the sun came pouring in and all was bright. Five grueling nights this took, but it was worth it. I had made a logician out of Polly. I had taught her to think. My job was done. She was worthy of me at last. She was a fit wife for me, a proper hostess for my many mansions, a suitable mother for my well-heeled children. It must not be thought that I was without love for this girl. Quite the contrary, I determined to acquaint her with my feelings at our very next meeting. The time had come to change our relationship from academic to romantic.

"Polly," I said when next we sat beneath our oak, "tonight we will not discuss fallacies."

"Aw, gee," she said, disappointed.

"My dear," I said, favoring her with a smile, "we have now spent five evenings together. We have gotten along, splendidly. It is clear that we are well matched."

"Hasty Generalization," said Polly brightly.

"I beg your pardon," said I.

"Hasty Generalization," she repeated.

"How can you say that we are well matched on the basis of only five dates?"

I chuckled with amusement. The dear child had learned her lessons well. "My dear," I said, patting her hand in a tolerant manner, "five dates is plenty. After all, you don't have to eat a whole cake to know it's good."

"False Analogy," said Polly promptly. "I'm not a cake. I'm a girl."

I chuckled with somewhat less amusement. The dear child had learned her lesson perhaps too well. I decided to change tactics. Obviously the best approach was a simple, strong, direct declaration of love. I paused for a moment while my massive brain chose the proper words. Then I began,

"Polly, I love you. You are the whole world to me, and the moon and the stars and the constellations of outer space. Please, my darling, say that you will go steady with me, for if you will not, life will be meaningless. I will languish. I will refuse my meals. I will wander the face of the earth, a shambling, hollow-eyed hulk." There, I thought, folding my arms, that ought to do it.

"Ad Misericordiam," said Polly.

I ground my teeth. Frantically, I fought back the tide of panic surging through me. At all costs I had to keep cool. "Well, Polly," I said, forcing a smile, "you certainly have learned your fallacies."

"You're darn right," she said with a vigorous nod.

"And who taught the to you, Polly?"

"You did."

"That's right. So you do owe me something, don't you, my dear? If I hadn't come along you never would have learned about fallacies."

"Hypothesis Contrary to Fact," she said instantly.

I dashed perspiration from my brow. "Polly," I croaked, "you mustn't take all these things so literally. I mean this is just classroom stuff. You know that the things you learn in school don't have anything to do with life."

"Dicto Simpliciter," she said, wagging her finger at me playfully.

That did it. I leaped to my feet, bellowing like a bull. "Will you or will you not go steady with me?"

"I will not," she replied.

"Why not?" I demanded.

"Because this afternoon I promised Petey Burch that I would go steady with him. I reeled back, overcome with the infamy of it. After he promised, after he made a deal, after he shook my hand!"

"The rat" I shrieked, kicking up great chunks of turf. "You can't go with him, Polly. He's a liar. He's a cheat. He's a rat."

"Poisoning the Well," said Polly. "Stop shouting. I think shouting must be a fallacy too."

With an immense effort of will, I modulated my voice. "All right," I said. "You are a logician. Let's look at this thing logically. How could you choose Petey Burch over me? Look at me - a brilliant student, a tremendous intellectual, a man with an assured future. Look at Petey - a knothead, a jitterbug, a guy who'll ever know his next meal is coming from. Can you give me one logical reason why you should go steady with Petey Burch?"

"I certainly can," declared Polly. "He got a raccoon coat."

Syukur dan Bahagia

baru saja blogwalking ke blog seorang teman.. lalu membaca salah satu postingan dia tentang:

"apa yang bikin kamu bahagia?"

pas membaca kalimat di atas, di kepala ini rasanya langsung berseliweran banyak hal.. mulai dari teman-teman tersayang (bibik, ilma, imoth, novi, melang, susi, prita, shita, jombang, tisya, yuti, nina, dan semua-muanyah..), mamah, aa, abang, kaka', de' pensi, onit, bi nung, teh neng, a gingin, sorowako's experiences, banyak deh.. semuanya berseliweran gak beraturan di kepala..

intinya.. for now, i'm happy enough.. bisa dibilang, much happy bahkan..

dan saya sangat mensyukuri apa yang saat ini saya miliki dalam hidup..

saya bahagia ketika bangun di pagi hari menyadari betapa baiknya Allah memberikan saya teman-teman yang baik dan luar biasa yang selalu bisa bikin saya lebih semangat terus buat menjalani tiap harinya dengan senyuman.. thanks a lot, guys.. u're such great friends ^_^

saya bahagia karena punya mama yang luar biasa yang masih tetap bertahan dengan semua yang dihadapinya.. dengan anak bandelnya yang gak kunjung lulus dari kampus perjuangan ini.. hehe.. dengan 'bebenyit-bebenyit'nya yang 'recet'.. dengan semuanya..

saya bahagia karena punya adik-adik yang luar biasa juga -- yang gak banyak mengeluh dengan apa yang ada saat ini.. yang selalu riang ketika saya membuka pintu rumah dan bawa sedikit oleh-oleh buat mereka (duh, kangeeeeeeeeeeeeen banget sama mereka..)

saya bahagia karena punya keluarga yang seperti mereka saat ini.. uak.. bi nung.. teh neng.. semuanya.. karena mereka yang mengajarkan saya agar mandiri dan dewasa.. dan menerima apa yang sudah Allah tetapkan buat saya..

saya bahagia koq..

alhamdulillah.. this is all more than enough to me.. this is all blesses.. and i'm so thankful, ya Allah..

Agustus 2007.

Sebuah Doa.

TUHANKU..

bicaralah padaku bila aku kesepian

bisikkanlah dukungan-Mu bila aku dirundung kecemasan

dengarkanlah suaraku bila aku jatuh

sudilah menjadi bagiku penghiburan dalam perjalanan

tempat bernaung di waktu panas

tempat berteduh di kala hujan

tongkat penuntun dalam kelelahan

dan penolong dalam bahaya

semoga aku berhasil

mencapai tujuanku

sekarang, dan juga nanti

pada akhir hidupku..

- dari novel “Fairish” -

Sebuah Kontemplasi.

orang yang tidak bisa menyikapi kekurangan dan tidak bisa memanfaatkan kelebihan akan sulit diterima oleh orang lain..

orang yang tidak bisa menyikapi kekurangan tetapi bisa memanfaatkan kelebihan akan melulu dimaklum oleh orang lain..

orang yang bisa menyikapi kekurangan tetapi tidak bisa memanfaatkan kelebihan akan merugi dan melulu dimanfaatkan oleh orang lain..

TETAPI

orang yang bisa menyikapi kekurangan dan bisa memanfaatkan kelebihan akan disayangi dan berguna bagi orang lain bahkan bagi orang banyak..

A Letter for Mama

mah, tanggal 4 kmaren mama ulang taun kan..? maafin ya, soalnya teteh ngucapinnya telat sehari.. heuheu.. maafin juga klo teteh belum sempet ngasih kado yang bisa bikin mama seneng.. maafin juga klo teteh malah cuma bisa bikin mama pusing.. (soalnya teteh kebandelan.. hehe!!) maafin klo teteh.. apa lagi ya?? kebanyakan sih yang mesti teteh mintain maafnya dari mama..

yang jelas ga ada artinya-lah apa yang teteh lakuin klo maaf dari mama aja teteh ga bisa dapetin.. umm.. makasih ya ma, di usia mama yang ke-47 ini mama udah bikin teteh jadi kaya sekarang (walaupun mungkin masih belum bisa bikin mama tersenyum bangga), makasih untuk ngedengerin semua cerita teteh setiap teteh pulang ke ciparay.. walaupun de' onit lagi nangis, atau abang minta makan, atau mama lagi nonton sinetron kesukaan mama, tapi mama tetep ga akan melewatkan cerita teteh sedikit pun.. makasih karena mama satu-satunya yang seperti itu.. :)

ma, makasih juga ya soalnya setiap teteh pulang ke ciparay mama pasti tau klo teteh kelaperan trus langsung nyiapin makan buat teteh (hehe!!) padahal kan sekarang harusnya teteh yang berbuat gitu sama mama.. soalnya udah terlalu banyak sih klo dari mama buat teteh.. ma, teteh cuma bisa berdoa mudah-mudahan mama akan selalu disayang dan dicintai Allah lebih dari apapun.. dilindungi-Nya lebih dari apapun.. menjadi orang yang paling bahagia di dunia maupun di akhirat..

ma, maaf klo masalah "itu" selalu jadi awal pertengkaran teteh sama mama.. teteh akan berusaha deh ma, supaya itu ga terulang lagi.. cuma biar mama bisa tersenyum bahagia :) oia, ma.. temen-temen teteh nitip ucapan selamat ulang taun juga tuh buat mama.. kata bibik, imoth, sama novi "tante, selamat ulang taun ya, makasih waktu itu dianterin ke stasiun..".. kata susi, prita, rani sama melang "tante selamat ulang taun ya.. koq mamanya baik dan cantik tapi anaknya kaya gini?" haha!! mereka cuma becanda koq ma.. masa' sih baik dan cantiknya mama ga nurun ke teteh, secara genetis kan harusnya terwariskan.. hehe =D

ma, yang jelas teteh cuma pengen klo di sini, saat ini, juga nanti di akhirat sana, teteh bisa tetep sama-sama mama terus.. di bawah naungan kasih sayangnya Allah..

ma, semoga mama panjang umur dan semoga mama suatu saat bisa tersenyum bangga karena teteh..

ma, teteh lagi ga punya uang nih.. (hehehehehehehehe, becanda ma! biasa, namanya juga anak-anak..)

ma, seandainya teteh disodori 1000 wanita terhebat di dunia dan ditawari salah satunya untuk jadi mamanya teteh, teteh ga akan pernah mau.. karena buat teteh mama adalah wanita yang paling hebat dibandingkan siapa pun yang teteh inginkan menjadi mama teteh..

ma, padahal kan teteh tadinya ga mau nangis pas ngetik ini.. mama tau sendiri teteh gengsian klo mesti nangis sgala.. tapi teteh tetep aja gak bisa nahan nangis..

ma, teteh sayang sama mama.. terus.. kapan pun..

love,

teteh (februari 2006)

Lemah (Sesekali) Bukan Menyerah, Mengalah (Sesekali) Bukan Kalah.

"siapa bilang kamu harus terus menarik dua titik itu ke atas agar membentuk garis lengkung manis?

siapa bilang kamu ga boleh leleh dan tumpah? kenapa harus bilang kamu kuat dan ga akan nangis klo memang butiran di mata kamu mulai terasa ingin tumpah?

siapa bilang kamu harus tetap berdiri tegak klo kaki kmu sudah terasa lelah untuk menopang?

kenapa harus memaksakan diri klo pundak kamu sudah terasa berat?

kenapa harus tertawa palsu klo keluhan adalah yang lebih jujur ketimbang tawa palsu itu?

mengeluh.. uhm.. kadang bisa dimaklumi.. yang ga boleh itu kmu nyerah, sayang..

nangis? itu mah wajar.. u are blessed with tears.. 'cause u are a woman.. the only thing that u can express ur feeling with are tears..

kenapa menahan diri untuk ga pernah bilang tentang beban yang kmu tanggung sementara semua orang di sekitar kmu peduli, sayang?

siapa aja, hal apa aja boleh bikin kmu kesel.. tapi terus bisikin sama diri kmu sendiri dan buktiin sama semua orang bahwa u are a tough girl.. u are stronger than what everybody saw.. u are better than what everybody thought..

so.. jangan pernah merasa bahwa kamu harus memaksakan diri untuk hal apapun.. jadilah orang yang kuat tapi bijak memperlakukan diri sendiri..

oke?"

- from a friend :) -

Words for Today

"The only way to find the limits of the possible is by going beyond them to the impossible"

(Arthur C. Clarke)

You Really Are God's Special Creature, Mom :)

Seorang anak kecil berkata kepada Tuhannya,

"Rabbi, kenapa bundaku sering menangis?"

Allah menjawab, "karena bundamu adalah seorang wanita..

Aku menciptakan wanita sebagai makhluk yang istimewa,

Aku kuatkan bahunya untuk menyangga dunia,

Aku lembutkan hatinya untuk memberi rasa aman,

Aku kuatkan rahimnya untuk melahirkan benih manusia,

Aku tabahkan pribadinya untuk terus berjuang di saat orang lain menyerah,

Aku beri ia rasa sensitif untuk mencintai putra putrinya,

Aku tanamkan rasa sayang yang akan meninabobokan, dan berbagi cerita dengan putra putrinya yang beranjak dewasa,

Aku beri ia kekuatan untuk memikul beban keluarga tanpa mengeluh,

Aku kuatkan batinnya untuk tetap menyayangi meski disakiti (bahkan oleh putra putri atau suaminya sekalipun),

Aku beri ia keindahan untuk melindungi batin suaminya,

Aku beri ia kebijaksanaan untuk mengerti bahwa suami yang baik takkan pernah menyakitinya, tapi kadang itu hanya ujian untuk melihat apakah ia wanita setia,

Bundamu makhluk yang sangat kuat..

Jika kamu melihat bundamu menangis, Aku memang memberinya air mata..

Sehingga ia bisa membasuh luka batinnya yang memberinya kekuatan baru.."

Another Life Lesson

menilai seseorang atau sesuatu itu biasanya emang sangat gampang.. tapi ketika memposisikan diri kita pada posisi orang itu, itu yang sulit.. jadi sebaiknya sih kita jangan terlalu gampang menilai, menjudge.. atau berasumsi tanpa mau melihat kenyataan terlebih dahulu.. takut dosa.. hehe.. emang siapa juga kita? :)

Life Lesson for Today

adalah hal yang menyedihkan ketika kita harus menyesali hal yang seharusnya tidak kita lakukan tapi malah kita lakukan, atau sebaliknya --> seharusnya kita lakukan tapi malah tidak kita lakukan..

tapi ketika kita salah untuk memutuskan pun bukan hal yang terlalu besar koq, itu akan jadi pembelajaran buat kita.. supaya kita gak melakukan kesalahan di lain waktu, dan supaya kita bisa jadi orang yang lebih baik lagi ke depannya..

Embarrassing Experience. And This Is One of The Reason Why We Need To: FOCUS :)

suatu hari, saya sama seorang teman beli alat-alat lab di tu**gus 10A.. trus terjadilah percakapan seperti di bawah ini antara saya sama mas-mas penjualnya:

me: mas, mau beli beaker glass dong..

si mas: yang brapa mL mbak?

me: yang 1000 mL mas.. emang harganya brapa sih?

si mas: oh, ada dua merk mbak.. klo yang d*ran 36 rb, klo yang p*rex 55 rb.. gimana? mau ambil yang mana mbak?

me: oh.. ya udah klo gitu yang d*rex aja deh mas..

si mas: hah? yang d*ran mbak?

me: bukan mas, yang d*rex..

si mas: yang d*ran apa yang p*rex mbak?

pas si mas-nya nanya kaya' gitu saya baru nyadar ketololan yang baru aja terjadi.. dan saya - ASLI - maluuuuuuuuu banget >.<

padahal maksud saya tuh mau beli yang merk-nya P*REX.. skali lagi P*REX bukan D*REX at all!!

jadi ketawa-ketawa deh sama si teman dan sama si mas-nya..

lagian si teman malah asyik baca komik.. bukannya ngingetin.. jadi malu kan jadinya..

padahal maksud saya tuh ini:

bukannya ini:

That Is How Life Goes On

kadang hidup itu gak berjalan sesuai dengan apa yang kita inginkan.. malah mungkin hidup lebih sering berjalan GAK seperti yang kita inginkan.. misalnya aja.. kita pengen punya HP baru - tapi pada kenyataannya kita ga punya duit buat beli HP baru.. atau misalnya kita pengen IP 4 - tapi pada kenyataannya IP kita ga secemerlang itu..

sebagian hal bisa kita usahakan supaya sesuai dengan apa yang kita inginkan, tapi sebagiannya lagi adalah hal yang sulit untuk diubah keadaannya.. tapi memang seperti itulah Allah telah menge-set hidup kita.. dan itu pasti yang terbaik dari-Nya buat kita.. meskipun di mata kita gak selalu merupakan yang terindah.. begitu juga sebaliknya, yang menurut kita indah belum tentu juga adalah yang terbaik buat diri kita..

kita mestinya banyak bersyukur.. dan banyak belajar.. walaupun kita sekarang - misalnya aja -bisa dapetin hampir semua hal yang kita mau, kita gak pernah tau ada ujian apa lagi dari Allah buat kita di depannya.. ngeliat pengalaman beberapa temen - sering ngotot dan maksa mesti dapetin apa yang dipengeninnya.. padahal mungkin klo kita lebih sering ngeliat ke sekitar kita.. betapa egoisnya kita hanya selalu menuntut dan menuntut tanpa pernah - atau jarang -menghargai apa yang telah kita miliki.. sementara di luar sana banyak orang yang justru hanya bisa memimpikan apa yang dia inginkan tanpa punya kesempatan untuk memilikinya.. mungkin yang mengalaminya bukan orang yang jauh, bahkan mungkin teman kita sendiri..

coba liat lagi apa yang udah kita miliki.. dari hal terkecil aja.. tubuh yang lengkap.. orang tua yang lengkap dan bisa memberikan kita nafkah, tempat tinggal, dan kehangatan - mungkin.. keluarga - baik itu adik, kakak, uak, tante, nenek.. yang bisa selalu jadi tempat pulang kita ketika kita penat dengan keadaan di kampus.. hal itu kadang luput dari syukur kita padahal ga semua orang punya anugerah yang sama.. coba liat ke temen-temen yang kita punya.. apa iya mereka semua punya anugerah-anugerah tadi? mungkin gak.. mungkin ada temen kita yang sering bingung ketika capek sama keadaan harus "pulang" ke mana? pada siapa?

materi.. alat komunikasi.. alat transportasi.. pangan tercukupi.. sandang - se-nggak-nya masih bisa blanja-blanji hal-hal yang dibutuhin dan dipengenin.. padahal mungkin ga semua temen kita bisa menikmati hal yang sama..

kenapa sih masih aja suka menuntut lebih? suka tamak? belum PUAS klo hal yang diinginkan BELUM ADA DI TANGAN..

kita punya impian dan keinginan - GAK SALAH.. HARUS, malah.. karena itu akan memotivasi diri kita untuk terus berusaha menggapainya.. bikin kita gak mau nyerah dan ga pengen berhenti gitu aja..

tapi klo sampe harus merengek-rengek? meminta LAGI dan LAGI sama orang tua kita - yang jelas-jelas UDAH KITA REPOTIN TERUS dari sejak kita masih jadi janin.. sampe' harus merasa sial ketika gak bisa mendapatkan apa yang diinginkan itu? hhhh.. coba dipikir lagi, bijaksanakah sikap kita itu..

SYUKUR dan SABAR.. saya sering denger, makna dari iman adalah kedua hal itu.. sepele untuk diucapkan.. tapi coba praktekkan dalam kehidupan nyata.. beuuuh.. SUSAH.. mungkin mudah untuk mereka yang "hampir punya segalanya" dalam hidup.. buat yang nggak? mungkin malah bertanya-tanya, "apa yang harus disyukuri? berapa lama lagi harus sabar?" tapi justru sikap syukur dan sabar kita - meskipun kita gak selalu, atau mungkin hampir gak pernah mendapatkan apa yang sebenarnya kita dambakan - itulah yang akan jadi nilai dan pahala di hadapan-Nya.. justru itulah kasih sayang-Nya..

yeah.. whatever.. that's how life goes on.. ga 'kan selalu sesuai dengan harapan kita, tapi itulah yang telah dipilihkan-Nya untuk kita - dan paling pas untuk diri kita..

You've Got A Friend

When you're down and troubled

And you need a helping hand

And nothing, nothing is going right

Close your eyes and think of me

And soon I will be there

To brighten up even your darkest night

You just call out my name

And you know wherever I am

I'll come running to see you again

Winter, spring, summer or fall

All you have to do is call

And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah..

You've got a friend..

If the sky above you

Should turn dark and full of clouds

And that old north wind should begin to blow

Keep your head together

And call my name out loud, yeah

Soon I'll be knocking upon your door

You just call out my name

And you know wherever I am

I'll come running, oh yes I will

To see you again

Winter, spring, summer or fall

All you have to do is call

And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah..

Ain't it good to know that you've got a friend

When people can be so cold

They'll hurt you, and desert you

And take your soul if you let them

Oh yeah, but DON'T you let them

You just call out my name

And you know wherever I am

I'll come running to see you again

Winter, spring, summer or fall

All you have to do is call

And I'll be there, yes I will..

You've got a friend..

You just call out my name

And you know wherever I am

I'll come running to see you again (oh baby don't you know)

Winter, spring, summer or fall

All you have to do is call

Lord, I'll be there yes I will..

You've got a friend..

Oh, you've got a friend..

Ain't it good to know you've got a friend..

Ain't it good to know you've got a friend..

You've got a friend..

Kala Hening..

ketika tegar berubah wujud menjadi butir-butir lemah yang leleh..

ketika riuh menjelma menjadi diam dan bisu..

dan ketika hangat tiba-tiba merindu sepi dan sendiri..

hanya suara jemari.. dan hirupan udara..

terdengar satu demi satu..

mungkin itulah saat yang selalu aku nanti..

namun bukan pula momen kesukaanku..

karena aku ingin tegar menjadi simbol bagiku..

meski butir-butir ini hanya leleh dan leleh lagi..

karena aku ingin riuh dan ramai menjadi warna ceriaku..

meski tiba waktu ku hanya dapat bisu.. kelu..

karena aku ingin hangat menyelimutiku..

meski sepi dan sendiri itu pasti..

kenapa ya masih seperti itu berjalannya malam-malamku?

padahal telah sekian waktu kusadari, hidup memang seperti ini..

perlu air mata untuk menjadi kuat, perlu duka untuk menghargai bahagia, perlu usaha untuk meraih cita dan asa..

kenapa ya masih hampa tengah hariku?

dan tawa kosong itu masih saja selalu meledak.. dan bual tak bermakna itu masih saja selalu meluap..

kenapa aku tak hanya jadi orang yang diam.. dan belajar..

karena semesta akan terlihat lebih jelas, terdengar lebih jernih, dan terasa lebih bening ketika hening..

Fight 'Till Your Limit!

orang yang berhasil menjalani hidup adalah:

orang yang lebih lama bertahan ketika yang lain sudah mulai menyerah dan berguguran...

orang yang selalu berusaha untuk bangun meskipun dia sudah ratusan kali terjatuh..

orang yang merasa bosan, tapi ga mau menyerah..

orang yang merasa lemah, tapi sadar bahwa dirinya memang lemah dan hanya ada satu KEKUATAN yang ga bakal pernah melemah yang akan selalu membimbingnya..

orang yang berhasil menjalani hidup juga adalah mereka yang menangis di malam hari tapi ga pernah lupa caranya tersenyum di keesokan paginya..

mereka adalah orang yang mengeluh, tapi ga lupa untuk belajar bersyukur setiap saatnya..

sementara orang yang gagal adalah mereka yang bosan untuk mencoba...

mereka adalah orang yang terlalu lelah untuk berusaha..

dan terlalu lemah untuk mengahadapi hidup..

mereka sebenernya hanya ga pernah sadar aja, bahwa kalau aja mereka mau mencoba sekali lagi dan sekali lagi, maka mereka akan berhasil juga pada akhirnya..

bahkan mungkin keberhasilan itu justru ada pada “kegagalan yang berulang-ulang dibuatnya”..

karena dari sanalah ia belajar.. dan dari sanalah ia tau kenapa “kegagalan” itu bisa terjadi..

kamu boleh terjatuh ribuan kali, tapi satu hal..

jangan pernah lelah untuk bangkit lagi setelah terjatuh..

meskipun kamu akan terjatuh lagi setelah bangkit itu, yang penting kamu ga berakhir dengan terpuruk dan dalam keadaan berhenti berusaha..

tapi kamu berakhir dengan perjuangan..

orang yang gagal adalah orang yang selalu merasa lemah dan lelah untuk tetap menapaki jalan terjal dan mendaki yang ada di hadapannya, memilih untuk diam di tempat atau mundur karena jalan mundur lebih mudah dan ga menguras energi..

orang yang berhasil adalah orang yang meski merasa sulit tapi ga mau nyerah atau berhenti.. meski kadang mengeluh tapi semangat lagi sesaat setelahnya.. nyicil tapi diselesein sampe abis..

fight till ur limit!!

Redup. Untuk Menyala Lebih Terang.

saat cahaya bintang meredup, mungkin kabut terlalu tebal melingkupinya..

hingga ia perlukan pundak seorang teman sejati,

untuk meluruhkan mendung dalam hatinya..

atau bintang itu sebenarnya hanya butuh waktu bertapa sejenak dari kebisingan dunia,

hingga jiwanya kembali..